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Tim, Letters From Prison
FIRST LETTER: DATED NOVEMBER 21, 2000
I tell you, though; jail has definitely been good for me. It got my life, which was tumbling into oblivion, STOPPED. I got a chance to sit back and look at my life and the people in it. I realized how used I was and that I was living my life for other people. NOT ANYMORE! I started reading the Bible (King James Version) soon after going to jail and the Word of the Lord has made a huge difference in my life. I turn to God every night in my prayers and ask His forgiveness as well as his blessings; and you know what, a lot of good has come about since then. I mean, I sit in one of the worst situations of my life, but I have so much more inner strength and I don’t worry about what will happen. I ask God to help me through the day and He does. Actually, both Butler, and Cambria have made me a trustee so I got special privileges and I’m considered a “model inmate.” I just pray that the other inmates will use their time in prison to try to better themselves and learn from their experience.
I think the greatest thing that God has done for me, and I know it was Him because my luck is not that good, is He brought wonderful people, like yourself, to me just to say they care about me. It’s so nice to be loved. At the time I came to jail, I had forgotten what that was like.
Thanks again for taking the time out to make my day so much better. I promise to remember you and your friends in my prayers.
Love,
Tim
SECOND LETTER: DATED AUGUST 27, 2001
I’m waiting on word from the Superior Court of Pennsylvania about my appeal and so far things look pretty good. Oh, by the way, I’m here at Mercer, which is only about a half-hour from Butler.
The only thing that’s depressing is the loss of people that I thought would stick by me through this. I used to get a lot of letters, but not anymore.
So far, I’ve gotten a lot of good from being in prison, if that’s what you want to call this place. I was always dependent on having other people around to be happy before. Now, I’ve learned to lean on Jesus and be happy with myself without other people. I also realized all the faults in my character and the things I never accepted responsibility for before. I’d say I’ve come a long way and when God thinks I’m ready to give real life another try, He’ll give me my chance.
Love,
Tim
LETTER: DATED SEPTEMBER 4, 2001
I really wanted to say thanks so much for the letter and some “Sister Share” printouts. It looks like your sister has created a very interesting web site for anybody who is looking to learn more about Jesus and Christianity. I’ve also shown it to a few other Christian brothers here and they enjoyed it as well.
If you happen to know anyone who is sincere and would like to be a pen pal, I’d love to hear from them. I figure with your experience, they’d be good people.
Thanks for being so supportive and positive for me. I liked the story you wrote explaining the meaning of “seed, time, and harvest.”
... I see how anger, frustration, and being hurt affect me when I don’t even realize it. Do you mind if I just talk to you (or at least write to you) at times like that? Thanks again for everything. I hope to hear from you soon.
God Bless.
Love,
Tim
LETTER: DATED SEPTEMBER 7, 2001
I’m still making daily improvements, but sometimes I get discouraged. Sometimes it’s just hard because of all the negativity in here, which is why I love to hear from positive and supportive people. When somebody gets REALLY negative, like a fellow did today, I ask them if they believe in God. That usually starts a conversation and most people don’t have very intelligent answers, but at the same time will stick around to hear what I have to say. A lot of times, I’ll see people’s attitudes change almost overnight. I guess that’s a step in the right direction.
I just got back from church 15 minutes ago. But as I was sitting in church, I was thinking about something. I was thinking that maybe you can think of a way to reach my GOOD FRIEND emotionally and spiritually. I know your intention is to spread God’s Word, and your children turned out wonderful, so if you have any ideas, please tell me. I’m really worried that something very bad will happen to my friend. I just pray every day that they’ll turn to God. You’re right; a lot of times it takes hitting “rock bottom” before you turn to Jesus. It proved true for me.
I can’t lie; I have strayed from my Bible a bit lately. But with your letters and references, it gives me something to look for. I guess I didn’t know what I was looking for before. I just read it because I figured that’s what you’re supposed to do. Now it has more purpose and meaning to me.
I’m sending a church pamphlet that we get on Sunday’s so you can see what our church and services look like.
Thanks again for everything.
Love,
Tim
LETTER DATED: SEPTEMBER 17, 2001
I got to talk to you on Saturday, so at least you know the good news that my attorney told me. That prayer group of yours is working pretty good, I’d say! Please tell them all I said thank you.
I always thank God for everything He’s blessed me with and I ask him to let me come home. I try to do what you said.... “Let go and let God.” I am being more positive about things I pray for. When it comes to the people I care about or anything...I have no doubt in God.
It seems that as soon as I came here, everybody I know lost their minds and I can’t help anybody. It’s a feeling of helplessness every time something happens. You’re right, though, God can handle things a lot better than I can, so I’ll keep asking him to.
I wish my family was more like yours. At least I know that I’ll keep Jesus in my family life when I have a family of my own. Maybe He’s working a miracle through you to bring our family back together...hope so. Don’t worry, I look up for Jesus so much lately that I run into things! It seems to be working pretty good.
Love and miss you guys,
Tim
LETTER DATED: SEPTEMBER 27, 2001
Thank you for the support of my character. I do intend to break this whole cycle, not only by teaching my own children respect and loyalty...but by continuing to show my family that I love them NO MATTER WHAT. I’m not perfect and I’ve done things to people I wish I wouldn’t have. So if I expect to be forgiven, I also have to forgive and continue to live by the Golden Rule. [Do to others as you would have them do to you.] I give my problems, my stress, anything that bothers me -- to Jesus. He takes it all from me and I always feel good. Everything about my life has been better since asking Jesus into my life! Brenda, you’re so right that the thought of anybody I pray for asking Jesus into their lives is a genuine thrill!
You have really kept my spirits high ever since your first letter and I just feel like Jesus has sent me a heavenly family, so now I need to know how to fit in or maybe stand out! I really want you to be happy having me around and maybe even a little proud of me. I’ll do my best! As far as thinking with a young mind...I told you I gave my stress and sin to Jesus. So I’ll be 20 FOREVER! I don’t know what to say or how to thank you for making time with your daughter’s family to pray for me. Please give them all my best and let them know their payers are not lost on a cold heart. I’d love to thank everybody in person to show my appreciation.
Life is going to be so different when I get out, because I’m so different. I’ve learned to be humble before God, and that I should try to live for Him. My life won’t be such a rat race anymore, with my time spent trying to impress other people. I can’t wait to try this out! I’ll never decide that you’re too much for me because I love having you around! You’re so positive and full of peace and joy! These past weeks have been so wonderful because you’ve brought hope and happiness to me. I can never thank you enough and I intend to show it.
I went to see Reverend Wilson yesterday, and he was surprised to see the computer-printed forwards you sent me, because he has copies of a lot of them. He told me I’m not like the other inmates because I care about myself and other people. I thought that was really nice of him.
Did you let that person who made the bet that they couldn’t find 300 people who loved God know that there were three more people added to their list? I wonder how you could NOT believe in God? I figure you’d be pretty miserable if you had no hope for life in Heaven.
Can’t wait to see you again.
God Bless.
Love,
Tim
2 Corinthians 12:9-10:
...and He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
PLEASE PRAY FOR GOD TO DECIDE THAT IT’S TIME FOR TIM’S RELEASE FROM PRISON.
THANK YOU!