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The Big "S" Word
Many women cringe upon the hearing of this verse. I know I did. When picking the readings for my wedding, I purposely did not pick that reading. I felt it may have applied "in those days" but it was definitely not relevant today. But the more I study the Bible and grow spiritually, the more I realize that it is very relevant.
"As for God, His way is perfect. The Word of the Lord is flawless" (Psalm 18:30).
If we truly believe that the Bible is the true word of God, we must believe all of it and not be selective.
God has a plan for all of us. He does not make us His plan because He is mean and wants to make our lives miserable. He loves us so much. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." He loves us so much that He came to earth and gave His life for us -- he died on a cross! That is surely the greatest act of love in the history of the world. The reason He gives us an outline for living is quite the opposite of making our lives miserable, but to give us joy, rest and peace. He wants to bless us.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
In this verse, Jesus tells us to learn from Him. To learn from Him, we must first consider who Jesus is. What kind of person He is. Let us look closer at the words in this verse. He says he is "gentle" and "humble."
Gentle means mild, soft, easy, not rough, easy to handle, gradual -- not sudden, kindly or patient. Humble means knowing one's own weakness, low in rank or position, plain and simple, lowly.
We are to take His yoke upon us. A "yoke" is a wooden frame that fits around the necks of oxen to join them. Try to picture that in your mind. We are to be joined with Jesus. We go where He goes, we do what He does. And in doing so, he promises us rest for our souls.
Each day, under all circumstances, we should consider what Jesus would do, for we are yoked with Him. He would be humble; He would put Himself in the low position; He would be last; He would be kindly and patient.
It is not in our nature to be submissive. If we say have faith in God's word, here's where that faith comes in. We must trust in God and believe that being humble and sacrificing our own way is the best thing for us. We are promised that we will have rest for our souls when we submit to the yoke of Jesus. Remember, He tells us that His yoke is "easy" and His "burden is light."
Being submissive is a difficult task, especially if we are doing it for a person. Do it for the Lord.
We know that our salvation comes from Jesus' death on the cross. He paid for our sins. The blood of Jesus is the only reason that any of us will enter the kingdom of heaven. We believe in Him as our savior and we have received him into our hearts as Lord. Our salvation is secure.
"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.... God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in His blood...For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from the law." (Romans 3:22, 25, 28)
Keeping this in mind, we know that our salvation is not dependent on our actions. However, we do desire to please God. We desire to please Him because we love Him, and because we are thankful for what He has given us. We also want God to be honored and praised,
"...let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (Mathew 5:16)
Finally, we are promised to be rewarded,
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (1 Thessalonians 3:23-24)
But what does God desire? In Mathew 9:43 Jesus says "But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice'" (Hosea 6:6)
Mercy is kindness especially to a wrongdoer or enemy that is greater than might be expected. He wants this more than sacrifices.
It's easy to be kind to someone who is being kind to us first. But God's desire is that we have mercy. When our husbands is being less than kind, rather when they are selfish, lazy or inconsiderate to our feelings, this is when we are to be merciful. Just as God loves us unconditionally, even when we sin against Him, we are to love our husbands the same way. We must forgive them as God forgives us.
Remember that you are not submitting to your husband because he deserves it, do it for the Lord -- for it is what He desires.
In Genesis 3:16, God says to the woman:
"...Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
Ephesians 5:22 tells us:
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."
It's God's plan and will for a wife to submit to her husband. So when we submit to our husbands, we are actually submitting to the will of God.
Finally, these worlds from 1 Peter 3:1-16 clearly explain what God's plan is and the reasons why:
"Wives, in this same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." (1 Peter 3:1-6)
That is powerful! Just by focusing of being submissive, we could win people to Christ! Not only our husbands, but anyone we come into contact with will see the love of Christ reflecting from us.
Peter tells us to be daughters of Sarah, allowing our husbands to be master, not giving way to fear. Sometimes allowing another person to be in charge causes us to fear. They may not make the same decisions we would, or we can see that this plan they have will surely fail. We want to prevent this inevitable tragedy that awaits. But we are not to give way to fear. Submit to his decision or plan for the sake of Jesus. Our husbands may ask us for our opinions or help and we may give it to him, but the ultimate decision is his. As Ephesians says, we are to submit in everything. Submission does not just apply to major decisions in life, but in everything. This may mean to just accept him the way he is, don't try to change him. Even if he chooses to ignore you, submit to it for the sake of Jesus. When we are yoked with Jesus, it's acceptable to be low in rank, to be humble, and not to get our way. It may seem very difficult, but most likely all of our marital problems would be solved with this one vital exercise -- submission.
(Please note that if you are in an abusive relationship, where you are being mentally and physically harmed, you should definitely protect yourself and children. Being submissive does not mean allowing someone to abuse or harm you in this way.)
Being submissive is no easy task. We will need to continually work on staying close to Jesus and to focus on His goodness. Remember Philippians 4:13
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Just knowing that a "gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God's sight" should be a wonderful encouragement and motivation for all women!