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Julie
I was trusting in my church and how they said to be right with God. But as I listened to a sermon about a priest who followed the church for 40 years, slipped into sin one night, was killed in a car accident and went straight to hell, I became angry! How could this happen? He followed the church for 40 years!!! Must I fear everytime I get into a car? What if I would die? I would be in hell! I was angry with God and the church. I prayed to God to tell me the truth. I need to know the truth, I told Him. Can this happen? Is my hope in the church for nothing? I continued praying for days or weeks ahead, I don't remember a time frame, all the while reading the same Bible and the same books I had before. But this time, I was seeing something different. As if there had been a veil covering my eyes before. I kept saying "There it is in black and white! The answer!" Romans, Chapter 3 said that salvation did not come by works (or by being perfect and not sinning) but by faith in Jesus' death on the cross. That single act had paid for my sins past, present, and future. If I would die today, I would be safe because of what Jesus did regardless of what I've done (good or bad) or ever will do.
Now I understood salvation but my lifestyle did not change at this point. It was not until a year later when God led me to Bible study where I met people who knew the same truth that I just discovered. But something was different about them. They loved God so much and had inner joy and peace that I never saw before. After listening and learning from them, I realized that I had never asked Jesus to be Lord "of my life" as well as "my death". I confessed to Him that I was a sinner who could not change on my own. I needed Him to change me. I asked Him to take my life into His hands and mold me. After that, slowly, my life did begin to change. I was continually reading the Bible and the more I read, the more faith I received. The more I believed that His word was flawless and contains all the answers to life! Jesus began to work on different areas of my life. I did not change myself at all! Things that seemed OK and fine were not appealing any longer. I stopped drinking and my language cleared up. And my heart began to love Jesus more and more. He was changing my heart, not me! He began to work on my outlook on life -- on my marriage, and the people I encounter everyday. He brought peace into circumstances where there used to be misery. Of course, I am not sin-free and will never be in this life. But Jesus said that He will complete the good work He started in me until the day He returns.
Receiving Jesus is not a way to make all your problems and heartaches go away. In fact, Jesus assures us that in this life, we will have trouble. But He says to take heart, because He has overcome the world. What that means to me is that I can't be sure of anything in this life. I don't know if I'll live to see tomorrow, or if my marriage with last, or if my child will live. I don't know if I'll go to the store today if I plan it, because life is to unpredictable. But there is one thing I'm totally sure of -- that Jesus loves me, and He showed me by dying on the cross for me! And I know that someday -- either when I die or when He comes back, I'll be with Him in His Kingdom forever and ever and my joy will be complete. I place all my hope in this and I know it will happen more than I know the sun willl rise tomorrow!
You can have this assurance in your own life. The Bible says that God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that whoever believed in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. He says that whoever seeks Him with all their heart, He will be found by them. He also says that He stands at the door and knocks, and whoever opens the door, He will come in. Ask Him to come in today!